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Fire in my Bones

The cost of desperation | Pst. J.O. Lawal

In Sarah’s case, the step she took in desperation in order to solve her problem of childlessness almost cost her husband’s love and home. Also, it turned her into a callous and cold-blooded person who was willing to do anything to save her home.

Date: October 27, 2021 | Series: Youth for Jesus | Number: Vol. 4, No. 24

“Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. But she had an Egyptian maidservant named Hagar; so she said to Abram, “The LORD has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my maidservant; perhaps I can build a family through her.” Abram agreed to what Sarai said.” (Gen 16:1-3NIV)

What led Sarah to acting the way she is reported in our opening bible text to have acted? Desperation! She was desperate to have a child for her husband, Abraham. And though God had promised to give them a child of their own, she just could not be patient to receive the fulfilment of the promise. Why? She was considering her age at the time. She had already passed the age of child bearing and her husband also had become an old man. In fact, he was ten years older than her. (Cf. Gen 17:17)

So, even though she believed God, she still felt that she had to do something about their childlessness before it was too late. That, of course, was because of her love for her husband. He had been faithful to her all the years of their marriage and had not gone after any other woman in order to have a child. Therefore, she must have thought that if there was anything she could do to make him have a child, apart from waiting on God, she would give it a try. That was what led to her suggesting that her husband sleep with her slave, Hagar. And the idea was that any child that came through the union would be hers as well, since Hagar herself was her property. Interestingly, her husband agreed to do what she had suggested, went in to Hagar and slept with her. And she conceived, as they had wished.

But then, just when Sarah was beginning to think that she had won and that her move, carried out in desperation, had paid off, Hagar began to misbehave. Why? It must have been because the care she was already receiving from Abraham got into her head. So, she totally forgot her place as a slave in that house and began to see herself as her mistress’ mate. At least, she had proven that the problem was with her mistress and not with her husband. And “Who knows,” she must have thought, “I may eventually become the madam of this house after giving my master a child.”

Now do you know that situation could actually have made Sarah lose her home? There have been women who lost their homes in very similar situations. So, if her husband had not feared God and truly cherished her, maybe Hagar’s pregnancy would have given her a chance to go from being a slave to becoming the madam of the house. But because her husband feared God and also loved and cherished her, he allowed her to handle the matter as she pleased. So, she dealt so ruthless with Hagar that she ran way from the house. And though she was restored because of God’s mercy, at some point, she and her son still had to be sent away for peace to reign in that home. (Cf. Gen 16&21)

What, then, is the point of all this? it is that when we are desperate to have something or do something, we are likely to take just about any step without counting the cost. But steps taken in desperation often come with very serious consequences. In Sarah’s case, the step she took in desperation in order to solve her problem of childlessness almost cost her husband’s love and home. Also, it turned her into a callous and cold-blooded person who was willing to do anything to save her home.

Therefore, before you ignore the word of God or common sense and take that step out of desperation, think about the cost. Yes, think about the likely consequences of what you are about to do because of your desperation. That step you take today may indeed solve your immediate problem or meet your immediate need. But will it not create more problems for you in the future, problems that may ultimately take away from you what you are so desperately trying to have or protect? So, you need to think carefully about this before doing anything stupid, just because you are desperate.

And remember this: God is never late. So, as long as you trust in Him and are acting on His word, He will certainly make all things beautiful for you at the right time, even when all hope seems to be lost (Ecc 3:11).

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