Series: Youth for Jesus
Number: Vol. 8, No. 21
“Absalom never said a word to Amnon, either good or bad; he hated Amnon because he had disgraced his sister Tamar.” (2Sam 13:22NIV)
Why did Absalom hate Amnon? He hated him because he had disgraced his sister Tamar. How? By raping her!Now was Absalom right to hate Amnon? No! But Amnon raped his sister. Yes, Amon raped his sister.
Nevertheless, it was wrong of him to hate Amnon. That was because the law God had given to them says, “Do not hate your brother in your heart. Rebuke your neighbor frankly so you will not share in his guilt.” (Lev 19:17NIV)
So, though what Amnon did to Tamar was terrible and unacceptable, Absalom shouldn’t still have hated him. Instead, he should have confronted and rebuked him frankly. In fact, he could have petitioned their father, the king, not to let Amnon go unpunished for his crime. And that may have made the story end differently.
Unfortunately, Absalom did not petition the king about the matter at all. He just kept quiet about it and was watching to see if anything would be done about it. Also, he would not confront Amnon about it at all. In fact, as we see in our opening bible text, he would not say a word to him on the matter, either good or bad.
Instead, he despised and hated him in his heart. And after two years, when it was clear to him that the matter had been swept under the carpet and that justice would not be served, he made his move to kill Amnon and succeeded.
What a pity!Now could Amnon have saved himself from Absalom’s hidden desire to kill him? Maybe! How? Would that be by continually being on guard? Yes, that may work for a while. But remember that Absalom did nothing about the matter for two years. He did not say any word that could make him suspicious.
Also, he did not do anything that could make him suspicious. Instead, he patiently waited for two years before striking him. He waited until everybody had most likely forgotten the matter before making his move.
And if he had needed to wait even for more years, he would still have done so. Why did he wait for as long as he did? The reason was that his heart was already filled with hatred for Amnon. And unless that hatred was removed from him, he would not rest until he was able to punish Amnon and satisfy himself.
So, even if Amnon was on his guard all the time, a day would surely come when he would face the wrath of Absalom. And how adequately prepared would he be that day? No one could tell.
How better, then, could he have handled the situation? He could have handled it better by meeting Absalom and Tamar for forgiveness. At least, it was clear to him that Absalom would not talk to him about the matter at all. That should have informed him that something was off and that whatever it was should be addressed. But he was a spoilt, overprivileged and unrepentant child.
So, he may not have seen any need to make peace with Absalom and Tamar. For him, what had been done had already been done and life must go on. That was why he went to Absalom’s party two years later and was bold, arrogant and careless enough to get drunk.
So, he lost his life cheaply.What is the point of all this, anyway? First, it is that we must learn to make peace with people, if we have offended them. And we should take the doing of this more seriously when those we have offended would not say anything to us about our offence, whether good or bad.
See, it is better for the one you have offended to shout or scream at you and let you know how terrible you are or how bad they feel than for them to keep quiet and act as though what you did was nothing. That is a dangerous sign. It is a sign that they may just be another Absalom. And if you ignore this sign and refuse to make peace with them, their wrath may fall on you when you least expect. So, make every effort to make peace with them when you still have the opportunity to do so. And may God help you.
The second point of this account is that if someone has offended you, deal with it without delay. Yes, confront them with the truth about their offence or error. And if you think that is going to be a waste of time, then, forgive them and forget about it, as God has commanded us to do.
Otherwise, that wound you are refusing to treat may fester and become worse. And where that is the case, you may not know when you will have become another Absalom, ready to murder.
Would God, then, be able to lead you back from your murderous path? No one can tell. He was unable to stop Cain from murdering his brother Abel. And He was unable to stop Absalom from murdering his brother Amnon. So, don’t even allow yourself to get on that path at all. And may God help you.
Amen.
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