“Your servant is in your hands, “Abram said. “Do with her whatever you think best.” Then Sarai mistreated Hagar; so she fled from her.”
(Gen 16:6NIV)
As we go through Scriptures, we see that Sarah, the wife of Abraham, is consistently described as a virtuous, holy and submissive woman. She was a woman who stood by her husband all the time and who was always committed to doing anything that would keep him safe and happy, even at the risk of her own life. It is not surprising, then, that married believing women are instructed to emulate her way of life, if they want to earn the respect of their husbands and become models for others to follow. (Cf. Gen 12&20; 1Pet 3:1-6)
Nevertheless, in our opening bible text, we are told of a time in which this same Sarah mistreated Hagar, her maidservant. And the maltreatment she gave her was so intense that she fled from her. So, Sarah too had a history of being cruel to someone. And is that something believing women should emulate as well? No!
See, though believing women are told to emulate Sarah, she does not represent a perfect example of who godly women should be. Only Christ Jesus represents a perfect example of who all of us believe in Him, both male and female, should be. He, then, is the only one we are to emulate in all things and at all times. Yes, Scriptures recommend a number of people for us to emulate. But they also tell us what to emulate in them. And we must not go beyond whatever they tell us to emulate in people. Otherwise, to our own disadvantage, we may find ourselves emulating in others attributes that God has already judged as wrong or destructive. (Cf. Heb 12:1-2)
In any case, what was responsible for the cruelty that, at some point, found expression in that beautiful, holy and virtuous woman, Sarah? What was responsible for that stain that was found on her white garment of integrity? It was the misbehaviour of Hagar, her maidservant.
As the story goes, Sarah, because she was desperate about giving her husband Abraham a son, came up with the idea of giving Hagar, her maidservant to him as wife. And her plan was to adopt any child that came of that union as her own child. But why did she consider Hagar for that kind of sensitive task? It must have been because she loved her dearly and also trusted her very much. (Cf. Gen 16:1-3)
Now we know that there is hardly anything that could be more difficult for a married woman to tolerate than to share her husband with someone else. Even Leah and Rachel, who were blood sisters, had serious issues sharing the same husband (Gen 29-30). So, for Sarah to consider Hagar as the best person to bring into her marriage bed in order to raise a child for her husband, she must have thought very highly of her.
But to her utter disappointment, as soon as Hagar realised that she had become pregnant for Abraham, she began to despise her. She despised her so much that she became frustrated. And in her frustration, she began to blame her husband for her suffering. But in the first place, it was her idea to bring Hagar into their bed. How, then, was she able to conveniently blame her husband for the way things turned out? Maybe Abraham overpampered Hagar. Who knows! But it is clear that Hagar got the wrong signal after becoming pregnant and began to think that she had arrived in a place where she could displace Sarah at will. (Cf. Gen 16:4)
Thankfully, Abraham loved Sarah too much to allow anybody to come between them or to insult her personality. So, even though Hagar was carrying his child, he told Sarah to fix her. And that was what awakened the monster in her. She got herself together and treated Hagar to so much cruelty that she ran away from their house. I mean that she showed her who the real mistress of the house was. And if God had not stepped into the situation, giving birth to her son and raising him would have been a sort of hell for Hagar. (Cf. Gen 16:5-16)
But would lovely and gentle Sarah have turned to a cruel monster overnight, if Hagar had not overstepped her boundaries? Not likely! She loved her and trusted her. But her pride made her betray her love and trust. So, even though she was eventually allowed back into that house, things never remained the same for her there again. Sarah, for instance, did not adopt her son to be hers again. And that was why when she had her own son, she insisted that Hagar and her son, Ishmael, leave the house. (Cf. Gen 21)
What is the point of all this? First, it is that we can turn very good and kind people into monsters through our misbehaviour to them. And when they strike, we may not be the only ones that will suffer – others in our lives also may suffer along with us. So, don’t take lightly those who have been good to you or instrumental to certain records of success you have in life, just because you are now richer or better placed in life than them. Don’t abuse their generosity or the rare privileges they have given you. Otherwise, the pains they may feel may be beyond what you can imagine. And those pains may be what will wake up the monster in them. Then you will be surprised to see that the same hand that once fed and nurtured you is now carrying a sword to severe your head.
Second, don’t allow anyone to turn you into a monster and forever ruin your testimony before God and His people. It will always be on record that Sarah once maltreated someone. No, she never thought it would come to that. But her bad decision of bringing Hagar into her bed made things come to that.
So, as we relate to people, we must not allow any form of desperation or excitement to lead us into taking them to beds they are never supposed to be sleeping on or into giving them privileges that they are not mature or wise enough to manage. Otherwise, they may end up using what we have given to them to do to us things that will not only fill us with regrets but also fill us with strong desires for vengeance. Then some monsters will have been created. And it may take God’s intervention for such monsters not to destroy everything in their paths or themselves before they are healed and restored. Therefore, mind yourself.
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