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Fire in my Bones Youth for Jesus

Face the fact | By: J.O. Lawal | Date: March 29, 2023 | Series: Youth for Jesus | Number: Vol. 5, No. 46

“Now Lot, who was moving about with Abram, also had flocks and herds and tents. But the land could not support them while they stayed together, for their possessions were so great that they were not able to stay together. And quarreling arose between Abram’s herdsmen and the herdsmen of Lot. The Canaanites and Perizzites were also living in the land at that time.” (Gen 13:5-7NIV)

Why did quarrelling arise between Abraham’s herdsmen and Lot’s herdsmen? It was because the place they were staying could not support the two family-groups. Lot, as we are told in our opening text, had been moving around with Abraham, his uncle. And in the process, he too had grown tremendously in wealth. That being the case, Abraham should have anticipated that at some point there would be clashes of interests, if he allowed him to continue to stay with him.

But somehow, maybe out of blood sentiments, Abraham would not readily face the fact that it was time for Lot to be independent and go his own way to establish his household and generation. So, they continued to stay together in the same place, even though it was becoming more and more glaring that the place they were was too small to support both of them and their possessions. And because they would not face the reality about their situation and deal with it, at some point, quarrelling broke out between their workers.

Now it is possible that those workers had been trying to keep their cool about the fact that the resources where they were could no longer support the two groups and that they both had to just tolerate each other. And that would be because they would not want to be the reason their masters, who were both relatives and who had been living together in harmony for years, would quarrel and become enemies. But that, evidently, did not take away the problem. That did not handle the fact that each family-group was simply trying to tolerate the other in using the resources available where they were.

A time came, however, when these two groups of workers could no longer hide their resentments and frustration. So, they let everything out and made it clear that, all along, they had just been trying to tolerate themselves in using the space and resources available to them where they were staying. And that was when Abraham realised that he had to face the fact about the situation and allow himself and Lot to part company, when they were still at peace with each other. Otherwise, the matter would grow worse and their parting then would most likely leave each of them with bitterness and pains.

What is the point of this? It is that when there is a need for us to make some changes in handling our relationships with others, we should do so and not allow sentiments to prevent us from doing the needful. Otherwise, what we are trying to prevent from happening may eventually happen and we may no longer be able to control its impart or outcome.

For example, it may be okay and very pleasant for you and a friend to be staying together as single brothers or sisters. But you need to accept the fact that, at some point, the circumstances of your life will not support your staying together. And if you are not prepared to do the needful before that day comes, though you are now good friends, you may end up becoming bitter enemies.

Or it may be okay for you to partner in business with a friend or a sibling when you are not married or when you are not occupying certain positions in life. But when some situations or circumstances change or begin to change in your life or in the life of that person, you need to face the reality about the impart this change will have on your lives and relationship and be immediate in doing the needful. Otherwise, what you are trying to protect or save may end up being lost.

The same thing is applicable to marriage relationships and the relationships between parents and their children. There are circumstances of life that will naturally affect these relationships, whether we like it or not. And how we handle the invasion or gradual introduction of these circumstances into our lives is what will determine whether they end up being a blessing to us or a curse.

For example, there are marriages that have been on fire since one of the couples got a promotion at work or got a better paying job. And there are parents that have been having serious issues with their children since those children crossed their teenage years. Is getting promoted a bad thing? No! But promotion can change a whole lot of things about someone. And if those in their lives will not face that reality, that promotion may end up being a curse to all of them.

Also, is crossing the teenage year a bad thing for any child? No! Every parent wants their children to grow up and become responsible in life. And all sane children also want the same things for themselves. But anyone who has crossed the teenage years is no longer a child but an adult. And if he and his parents are not ready to accept this fact and relate accordingly, they may end up being estranged for life, even though they have been best of friends before.

My point, at any rate, is that as your life’s circumstances and those of the people in your life are changing, face the reality about this change and be prepared to change accordingly. But if you allow sentiments to get in the way, the problem you want to avoid may end up coming up when and where you will have no answer for it. So, mind yourself.

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