Date: January 18, 2023|Series: Youth for Jesus|Number: Vol. 5, No. 36
“And now, my daughter, don’t be afraid. I will do for you all you ask. All my fellow townsmen know that you are a woman of noble character.” (Ruth 3:11NIV)
Those were Boaz’s words to Ruth, when she came to him one night to request his hand in marriage. Now, for those of us who don’t understand the Jewish culture of the time, what Ruth was reported to have done on that occasion could only be taken by us as outrageous and shameless. “What sort of woman makes love advances at a man, if not a shameless one?” we would say.
But as far Jewish customs were concerned, there was nothing shameless or outrageous about what Ruth did that night. Under the law of Moses, widows were meant to remarry from among their in-laws and not outside the family. And each of them had a right to approach the elders of their town to report any brother-in-law that was in a position to remarry her but that would not do so, so that they would talk some sense into him. (Cf. Deut 25:5-10)
So, Ruth did not do anything wrong under the law of Moses by discreetly approaching Boaz and asking him to marry her. First, she was a widow. So, she had a right to remarry. Second, Boaz was her late husband’s kinsman. So, he was one of those in a position to marry her. Then, as the account goes, it was not even Ruth’s idea to meet the man in that manner, for she was not an Israelite and most probably did not know much about their laws and culture at the time. The idea was Naomi’s, Ruth’s mother-in-law. And if there was anyone that would put Ruth up to something shameless, she would be the last person. (Cf. Ruth 3:1-5)
More so, as we equally see in the account, Boaz did not act confused when Ruth did what her mother-in-law told her to do. Instead, he indicated that he understood clearly what she did and what it meant. In fact, he went on to tell her that there was another kinsman of her late husband that was more qualified to marry her than him. So, what the young woman did was in line with the marital laws and customs of the land at the time and should not be condemned by anybody.
Now is that to say that you too, as a single lady or young widow, are free to approach any man to ask his hand in marriage? That is not for me to say. I know the word of God does not give a ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ answer to that. And if the customs of your country or community do not frown against doing so, you should be free to do so. But if the customs of your place are contrary to it, then, doing so may ultimately result in a reputational hazard for you. So, I won’t ask you to take the risk.
At any rate, even though what Ruth did to Boaz was in line with the customs of the land at the time, Boaz could as well have been irritated by it and rejected her proposal. But he did not. Why? It was because he knew Ruth to be a woman of character.
In fact, as we see in our opening bible text, he wasn’t the only one that knew her in that manner; everyone else in the town knew her to be so. In other words, this woman’s reputation for godliness, sanctity, hard work, diligence and love for family preceded her wherever she went. Therefore, Boaz was all happy and eager to do for her what she wanted, if their relative that was more qualified than him to have her would not do so. He, in fact, went out of his way to make sure the matter was settled in one day. And that was all because of the reputation of the woman involved. (Cf. Ruth 3-4)
In like manner, our reputation can get people to go out of their way to perform miracles for us to have what need or to save us from trouble or distress. And it can also get them to turn their backs on us or to do all that is in their power to hinder us from accessing or enjoying certain things. So, we need to watch the kind of reputation we are building where we are. Is it a reputation for godliness, honesty, compassion and diligence? Or is it a reputation for ungodliness, dishonesty, cruelty and laziness?
Whatever the case may be, our reputation will always precede us to either make way for us or hinder us. So, pay attention to the kind of reputation you are building among those in your life. And may God enable you to do what is right concerning this matter, in Jesus’ name. Amen.