Date: August 09, 2023|Series: Youth for Jesus|Number: Vol. 6, No. 13
“Then the king said to his men, “Do you not realize that a prince and a great man has fallen in Israel this day? And today, though I am the anointed king, I am weak, and these sons of Zeruiah are too strong for me. May the LORD repay the evildoer according to his evil deeds!”” (2Sam 3:38-39NIV)
Those were David’s words after Joab had murdered Abner, Israel’s army general, in cold blood to avenge the blood of his brother Asahel. But why did he say such words? He said them because he realised that even though he was the Lord’s anointed king, he did not have it takes to keep under control some of his men.
And in this situation, he was referring to Joab and his brother Abishai. Naturally, David was supposed to have the two of them executed or banished for the roles they played in the death of Abner. That was because he did not give them any order to have the man murdered.
As we see in the account, Abner and David had just had a feast together to celebrate their alliance before Joab went after him and used deceit to kill him. So, as God’s anointed king that wanted to be just in leading the people, the right thing for him to do was to judge those murderers.But he could not do anything to them.
Why? First, as he himself admitted, they had become powerful and influential among his men. That was because they both of them were mighty men of war and had led his men to experience victory in battle many times. So, they were men that were feared, trusted and respected. That being the case, there was no way he would judge them and not create divisions among his own men. Second, these men were David’s nephews, sons of his sister Zeruiah. So, if he chose to execute or banish them because of Abner, who was not entirely a good man himself, many of the people may see him as a heartless person. His blood relationship with them, then, also weakened him and prevented him from judging them for what they did to Abner. (Cf. 1Chro 2:13-17)
Now what did David miss? Was it his fault that Joab and Abishai were his nephews? No! And did he do any wrong by recognising their prowess and allowing them to lead his men in battle? No! But it is clear that he allowed their familiarity with him to breed contempt for his authority. If, right from the time they just came to him as young men, he had been strict or hard in disciplining them and showing them that he would not accept any form of disregard for his authority from them, simply because they were his blood, they would most likely not have become emboldened to do anything without his permission.
Also, David must have given these men, Joab and his brother, too much independence as leaders of his army. That was why they were bold to call Abner back on that occasion without first checking in with their king. But authority must always be checked. If you give someone some measure of authority and will not check it or place some restrictions on it, it will take the grace of God for that person not to use that authority to strengthen himself against you.As we see in David’s case, Joab and his brother used their relationship with him and the positions he gave them in his army to strengthen themselves against him. So, even though they were loyal to him to the end, they also had a culture of doing whatever pleased them, even if it was contrary to what he wanted. And he remained weak in handling them till he died. The best he could do was to entrust the judgment of Joab to his son Solomon, who, of course, was too wise for the man to contend with (1Kings 2:5-6).
Well, what is the point of this? It is that you should not allow any relationship to make you weak in using your position to do the will of God. It does not matter whether it is a blood relationship, work relationship or spiritual relationship, don’t handle it in a way that it will introduce weakness of character into your life. We have seen husbands made weak by their wives and vice versa, so that they are now unable to always do the will of God with their positions.
And we have seen parents made weak by their children and vice versa, so that they are now unable to do what is right where God has placed them. We have even seen employers, bosses and anointed preachers made weak through some unclean relationships with those under them, so that they are now unable to do what God wants with their respective positions.
So, you really can be made weak in doing what is right or in judging wickedness by the people you love, trust or admire. And that is what will most likely happen, if you will not exhibit discipline and self-control in your dealings with them all the time.
Who, then, knows how far they will go in abusing your relationship with them? Remember that the only reason Abner responded to Joab’s call to come back that day was his relationship with David. And he took advantage of that to destroy him. Therefore, don’t let anyone make you weak and, by so doing, turn you into a partaker of their sins. And be very careful too not to weaken anybody in doing what is right through your relationship with them or through the authority they have entrusted to you. Otherwise, like Joab, you may expose yourself to God’s judgment.