Date: November 16, 2022|Series: Youth for Jesus|Number: Vol. 5, No. 27
“Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” (Phil 2:4NIV)
What does it mean to be selfish? It means to be concerned about yourself alone, especially at the expense of others. It means to do things or go for things for the sole purpose of satisfying ourselves and without considering how others are affected. And the word of God says that is a wrong way to live.
Now is it wrong to be concerned about ourselves? No! Or is it wrong to want to satisfy ourselves? No! Unfortunately, there are people who think we don’t have to be concerned about ourselves at all but about others and that we don’t have to satisfy ourselves at all but others. These are the kind that would say, “Always think of others first.”
But as nice and gracious as that may sound, it is not at all a godly philosophy. Why did I say that? It is because there is nowhere in the Scripture in which God tells us to think of others first. On the contrary, what we have are Scriptures in which God says, “Love your neighbour as yourself.” Why is God telling us to love our neighbours as ourselves? The reason is that until we learn to love and treat ourselves right, we cannot love and treat others right. (Cf. Matt 22:39)
By the way, even those who tell us to always think of others first are really not putting others first in their lives. I am saying this because the major reason they love to put others first is that it makes them feel good or accomplished. I mean that there is a measure of satisfaction these people derive or seek to derive from putting others first in their affairs. So, ultimately, their putting others first is not really about others but about themselves. Can we, then, say that they are putting others first? No!
Well, my point is that being selfish is not basically about not putting others first. That is because you can be putting others first and still be dubious. Yes, you can be putting others first and still be cheating them. If you have younger ones and you grew up with them, you should understand what I am saying. Here you were, sharing a lump of meat among you and your younger ones. And you decided to first give them their own share, so that they would see you as selfless. But was that to say you did not cheat them at all? You know the answer.
So, the idea of putting others first may not eliminate cheating or selfishness. However, it is possible not to put others first and still not be selfish. This is a situation in which you are not just concerned about yourself but also about others. And that is what Paul is speaking of in our opening bible text. There he tells us not to look at our own interests alone but also at the interest of others.
What is the difference between a selfish person and an unselfish person? A selfish person is only concerned about their own interests and not at all about yours. So, for example, if they make or sell to you a product, they will only be concerned about the profit they will make from the sale and not at all about your enjoyment of it. That, of course, is the foundation for all fake products and substandard services. The people behind them are only concerned about their own gain and not at all about the benefit or loss you may derive from what they offer you. They are selfish.
Something similar can be experienced in relationships, whether natural or spiritual. When people are merely concerned about how much they can squeeze out of you and not concerned at all about how that will affect you or concerned about what they also can do to show that they care about you, they are selfish. And selfishness irritates. Selfishness puts off kind people. In fact, it will only take a kind person that is walking in the love of Christ to remain forever kind to you, if you are selfish.
So, don’t be selfish. Don’t be concerned about yourself alone but about others as well. If people are helping you or working with you, be genuinely concerned about their welfare as well and show it as often as you can. Yes, be sure you are regularly considering how you can show them that you too care about them and that you are not a parasite.
See, selfish people are parasites, always seeking to drain others. Selfish people don’t move the world forward or contributing anything significant to make it better. It is unselfish people that are moving the world forward and making it better and more enjoyable for everyone to live in. They are the ones coming up with new inventions and easier and better ways and methods of doing things. They are the ones making and selling to us products or services that give us value for whatever money we pay for them.
Yes, they too may be making profit and probably getting richer through what they are doing for us, depending on the kind of relationship we have with them. But whatever they do for us is not just about them but also about us. So, God is happy with them because they are making us happy. And He will be happy with us too, if we will stop being selfish and start making others really happy by being unselfish in all that we do.
Cheers!